Introverted Fangirl

Guess what? I met Colleen Houck. THE Colleen Houck, author of the Tiger’s Curse series, Reawakened series, and her newly-released book The Lantern’s Ember.

For the first time in my twenty-year-old life, I participated in a book signing where I met Colleen Houck. Fangirl style.

In promoting her newest book, The Lantern’s Ember, she came to Barnes & Noble in Orem, Utah for a book signing. Even in the midst of all my textbooks to read, papers to write, and assignments to complete, I put them aside for the evening.  I just had to be there.

I’ll let you in on a little secret about how much I love Colleen Houck. I have read her Tiger’s Curse series FIVE times in the past four-ish years. Houck’s writing is familiar and clear and her characters are relatable, interesting, and lovable. Also, the whole India-based mythical plot is a delight to read. The chance to meet Colleen Houck was too much to ignore.

With two of my favorite books from the Tiger’s Curse series in hand (Tiger’s Curse and Tiger’s Voyage), I sat near the back of the small book signing, on the edge of my seat.

Then, there she was. Dressed in full Halloween gear: a black corset, vibrant orange shirt, a black tulle skirt, stockings, buckled shoes, and a small top hat pinned to the side of her hair. And I stared open-mouthed and smiling, like a proper fangirl.

Colleen Houck started the event by pitching her new book, The Lantern’s Ember, which I have reviewed here. And while I didn’t love The Lantern’s Ember as much as the Tiger’s Curse series, I love Houck enough to make up for anything she writes.

After the pitching, she answered questions. At this moment, I failed as a fan girl, too shy to ask any question. But I did write down much of what she said. Here are a few points that I loved:

•  Her favorite character to write out of all the books she’s written is Mr. Kadam. My heart almost burst when she said this. I love Mr. Kadam (from the Tiger's Curse series)

• When asked about writer’s block, Houck said writers don’t get to have writer’s block. A writer must treat writing like a real job. You don’t go into a real job and say, “I’m not feeling it today, I think I’ll just not work.” If treated like a real job, a writer can get the work done.

• For inspiration, Houck has huge databases where she keeps phrases from books she likes, pictures from Pinterest, snippets of research, and anything else that could create inspiration during a rough writing day. 

As a writer, I took these last two points to heart.  It's a special thing to receive writing tips from one of your favorite authors.

Then the giveaways. By some stroke of luck, both me and my husband won Reawakened purses filled with Halloween candy. With our goody purses slung on our shoulders and my books in my arms, we made our way to the signing line. I stamped my books with official Tiger’s Curse stamps (*squeal*), and then came the moment the fangirl in me had been waiting for: the signing.

I stood silent and in awe as Colleen Houck wrote my name, a short note, and her signature in my Tiger’s Curse books. As an afterthought, I also gathered the Reawakened series off the shelf and had her sign those too. Before leaving, I shyly asked for a picture and then walked away, having said nothing I’d planned to say.

I discovered something about myself from that book signing. I am, irrevocably, an introverted fangirl. As Colleen Houck wrote my name with flowing handwriting in one of my favorite books, I was shrieking inside. But I let none of that show. I’m an introvert, through and through.

Sure, if I could go back, I would try to fangirl by gushing about how much I love the Tiger’s Curse series and how impressed I am at her world-building and plot ideas and how we should be best friends. But I am equally content with how things actually went.  It was special enough for me to meet one of my literary heroes.

I can’t wait to start the Reawakened series after I’m finished with all my textbooks to read, papers to write, and assignments to complete. If you want to read Colleen Houck, start with Tiger’s Curse series. You’ll love the romantic, Indian-themed, mythical fantasy. Then please cross your fingers with me that she comes back to Utah for another signing soon, because meeting her a second time would be just as exciting as the first.

Poetry Under Stars

It’s too cold to be outside, but we take blankets out. We can’t resist the stars. After a moment of looking, guessing constellations, Abigail opens up her poets.org and I my Emily Dickinson. Without explanation, we take turns reading. Abigail reads with her gusto, words shooting from her mouth like they’re trying to escape to the stars. I read hesitantly, not belonging to this world of poetry Abigail loves. But we are friends, and tonight is one night that will be perfect as we huddle on a damp blanket, reading words I can’t understand, but words that light up her soul – I can see it in her eyes. This is our friendship: watching Abigail become enlightened at the touch of anything beautiful while I look on, wishing I could understand and feel and become. Wishing I could produce something as beautiful as her soul.

Words on a Page

There is something about words on a page. Words made up of single letters and pages made of words – all interacting on the physical print of a page and in the minds of readers. These words strung together make emotion, tension, and story. Simple letters combined into words, combined into pages, combined into books, combined into ideas. Ideas and books I love.

March 1st is World Book Day. Kids across the globe dress up like their favorite book characters for school – Dr. Seuss hats, various princess dresses, and Robin Hood garb show up in classrooms, and teachers monitor fake swords, plastic bows and arrows, and Thor’s hammer (though they may wonder if comics count as books). These kids celebrate words made up of single letters that turn into pages, books, and ideas. It is a day of personal connections to our quiet characters.

Books hold a special place in my life. My battery life data on my phone will tell you Goodreads is among my most visited apps and my husband will tell you I spend almost every allowance on a novel or two. Students studying at tables in the BYU library will tell you I visit the young-adult section almost every week, pacing among the tall shelves, often with a load in my arms and my coat swishing against my legs.

My heart will tell you that books hold a perpetual longing for me. A place not of escape, but of blessed inclusion in life. Escape seems too negative a term to be associate with books. They offer solitary inclusion – a way of looking and feeling the world in quiet and discovering your place in it.

In celebration of World Book Day, I reflect on books that have offered me a connection to life and have helped me discover a place. Books that showed me what life was like, how to love, how to understand. In special remembrance, almost as if recalling first elementary crushes, I list some of them here, with the accompanying memories.

Tess of the d’Urbervilles. A story of choice, rape, longing, personal discovery, hope, forgiveness, and love. I discovered my place as a woman and as someone who loves. Someone who accepts hard things.

The Rent Collector. A story of stories, reading, and opportunity. I discovered my place as an influencer because I read.

Spilling Ink. A book of writing. I discovered my place as an imaginer and a creator of worlds and people. A writer of letters, words, books, and ideas.

East. A story of legend, trust, discovery, love, and journeying. I discovered my place as one who journeys for important people, places, and ideas.

Unbroken. A story of suffering, hope, survival, and love. I discovered my place as one who is small, but infinitely important.

These are just a few. You can see more of my favorites on Goodreads. What will you do in celebration of World Book Day? What books do you hold in special remembrance? I’d love to hear!

Small Talk

High school can often be described as an awkward confinement – a prime breeding ground for mortification with nowhere to run. I felt like its prized guinea pig. I had my friends and my classic literature, but what I didn’t have was the courage to talk to people I didn’t know, especially the popular kids who carried themselves easily – who seemed to avoid high school mortification. The lucky ones. They didn’t seem to struggle with small talk like I did.

I have a memory that explains my struggle quite well. A rather mortifying one. As I returned from a bathroom trip and walked down the the hallway, I saw Sam Moore. I knew him ever since I moved to Mapleton years before and heard about his many flirtations and experienced his evening bagpipe playing in his backyard. Was he intimidating? No. Did I know his name? Of course I did. What was the problem? You tell me.

As Sam and I came closer in the hallway, he waved. “Hey Savannah!”

If I was a normal human I would have replied, “Hi Sam! How you doing?” I don’t think being normal was part of the whole high-school-mortification program. Instead, I said:

“Hi Savannah!”

An endless pause. Then Sam erupted in laughter. “Did you just call me by your name?”

Yes. Yes, I did. With nowhere to run and my face as red as my hair, I laughed with him and hurried away, feeling the physical pain of shame and embarrassment every time I recalled my idiocy.

See what I mean? Small talk was not a skill I claimed. So when Jennifer Latson’s article “The Secret to Small Talk” popped up on a google search (don’t blame me for searching), I jumped on it. I had to know that simple secret.

Here’s what I learned. The secret to small talk is not sticking to a formula, such as starting with a compliment, asking how a person is doing, then choosing an appealing and common topic to start a conversation. It’s being earnest and genuine in putting yourself out there and connecting with others. It is, in fact, being awkward and accepting flaws in interaction for the sake of that connection. Jennifer Latson expresses this through telling a story of a boy who has William’s syndrome, which makes him very friendly and outgoing. In his conversations, he makes mistakes such as calling someone by the wrong name and asking about unique qualities and flaws such as acne or a deep voice. Latson shows that in each of these encounters, the boy is readily forgiven because of his genuine earnestness to connect with people and friendliness. This is the secret: for excellent small talk, one must have a genuine desire to connect with someone and accept that mistakes will be made.

In applying this secret to my life, the awkward high school situation above has greater hope. Instead of dwelling on the mortification in calling Sam my own name and walking away blushing red, staying and connecting with Sam could have been a better remedy.

After reading Jennifer Latson’s article, I am relieved to learn there are others who struggle with small talk like I do. I also have an increased aspiration to get at the heart of small talk – connection. Knowing this secret doesn’t mean talking is any easier, but I have hope for better times ahead, accepting all the awkwardness and mortification that may come.